He Doesn't Know
by Villanelle
Summary: An angsty yaoi fic on Tasuki and Chichiri. Tasuki speaks on his feelings for Chichiri, only to himself.


  
I'm so bored the whole weekend here so I thought of writing my first Tasuki  
and Chichiri fic. Please let me know what you think. I didn't edit this, but  
this is my first fic, so please be kind! This fic is written from Tasuki's  
perspective. Its not lemon (I'll leave that to those who can write one) but  
its sorta angsty.  
  
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He Doesn't Know  
  
I stared at him from afar. He is sitting Indian-like on the tall rock,  
fishing who-knows-what. A gentle breeze softly caressed his blue tresses,  
sweeping his kesa upward smoothly, almost like a rowboat's sail. He sat  
there quietly, one would not know if he is really fishing or just probably  
thinking, for his mask holds an unreadable and pretentious grin.  
  
I continue to stare at him. I've been doing this for days. Weeks, actually.  
Its been my everyday tirade to sit here by the tree (which has the best view  
of that rock he always sits on, by the way) and stare at him till the day  
ends. I stare at him till I feel someone's voice from afar lightly calling  
me for dinner. I stare at him till my legs fall asleep for staying in one  
position for so long.  
  
I always stare at him. My eyes make love to every inch of his body. I could  
stare at him forever.  
  
But he doesn't know.  
  
Later, I sat down to dinner. I slightly avoided him for he enjoys sitting  
next to me for some weird reason. I hastily took the seat between Chiriko  
and Mitsukake. I doubt those two could digress me from my thoughts. I  
avoided the confused look he has on his face and concentrated on my food.  
Hotohori called us all in a sort-of silent prayer, and I watched him,  
relieved, as he sat down next to the emperor, the side Nuriko doesn't take.  
Everyone begins to eat, except for me. I continue to stare into space, my  
thoughts full of him. I must have looked so ridiculous, my eyes locked into  
nothing but air. I felt an elbow jab me. Mitsukake was saying something to  
me, but I was unaware because HE suddenly spoke. My ears suddenly perked up  
and all I could hear was him.  
  
"Tasuki no da! Why don't you eat now no da! We have to travel tomorrow no  
da!"  
  
I almost smiled. Him and his silly yet cute no das. I almost forgot my need  
to avoid him as much as possible. I stare down at the food at my plate, now  
cold for not having been touched for so long. My mind is at a whirl, full of  
thoughts on him. I think about him every single minute, the moment I wake  
up, and the second I fall asleep.  
  
But he doesn't know.  
  
I stood up suddenly, surprising everyone. "What's wrong, Tasuki?" Miaka  
asked, worried.  
  
Wordlessly, I left the table. I have to get out of here, I thought wildly.  
First I walked, then it broke into a full run. I ran and ran, until I got  
caught out of breath. I almost doubled over, panting for air. That was when  
I felt a presence behind me. Even before I turned around, I knew it was him.  
But I wasn't expecting the sight that would behold me once I lay my eyes on  
him.  
  
I sucked an inward gasp. He was beautiful. He stood a few feet away from me,  
and the hall wasn't well-lighted, yet I could faintly make out the lines of  
his body in the dark. Luckily the early evening moonlight suddenly decided  
to settle somewhere on top of him, as it blanketed his pale skin with light,  
making his skin glisten with the color of ivory. His face was flushed and he  
was panting too, it seemed like he ran after me right after I hurried away  
from the dining area.  
  
But what enchanted me more was his face. Without the mask, he was the most  
beautiful and most exquisite thing I have ever seen. He was like a jewel, so  
rare, and so priceless. Like a child, so innocent and vulnerable. Yet he  
shines with wisdom and experience. One mahogany eye rested on mine, his  
features swelled up in concern.  
  
His voice pulled me out of my silent worship of his beauty and focused my  
attention back to the real world. "Tasuki no da?"  
  
"Yeah?" my voice was hoarse, I could barely speak, I was too enchanted, too  
drawn.  
  
"Are you all right, no da? You left us so suddenly, do have a problem? Would  
you like to talk about it no da?" Was it just me, or did I feel a tinge of  
worry in his voice? No, it can't be.  
  
I cleared my throat. "I'm fine. I just don't feel hungry. Now why don't you  
go back to dinner with everyone? I'll be fine."  
  
He fidgeted. He looked like he wanted to say something, but if he won't say  
it now, I might not be able to stop myself any longer from walking over to  
him, cupping his soft pale cheek in my hands, running my fingers through his  
hair, and taking those soft, seemingly-pliant lips of his with my own.  
  
He seemed hesitant. Good, let it stay that way. I turned and left him  
quickly as possible.  
  
Not turning back, I entered my room, and in one swift motion I stripped  
myself of my clothes and collapsed down the bed. Somewhere, somehow, I could  
hear him, calling my name, asking me to come back. I ignored it, and with a  
sigh, I prepared myself for another sleepless night full of thoughts of him,  
dreams of him, and then, another day staring at him.  
  
I felt a single tear roll down my cheek. I love him. Gods, I love him.  
  
But he doesn't know.  
  
  
**The End**  
  
  
-Watoom!! I'm still quite unsure about this fic so please let me know what  
you think. Like what I said before, this is my first fic, so please be kind!  
  
  



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